SATURDAY, 20 OCTOBER 2018
On the idea of blueprints you received from your parents (see December 2017’s “Upgrading my financial intelligence” and “Confronting my blueprints – and fixing them”):
1. My blueprint was not failure, it was struggling.
2. Like any set of active beliefs, this story of the blueprint isn’t just a factor during your childhood. If you continue to confirm to yourself that “it” is simple how it is, the blueprint keeps its hold on you. It is indeed like religious beliefs that you don’t grow out of. As long as you keep believing something is true, keep seeing certain “truths” in your life, it will remain true for you, no matter how old you are. [20/11/18: If everyone grew out of their blueprints, no adult would remain a follower of the religion to which their parents exposed them as children.]
3. I have a new blueprint: I, Brand Smit, do not have to struggle. That I believed for years that was how it was supposed to be was a mistake. My parents never intended to teach me that particular lesson. Certain things happened, but I was never meant to internalise them as the Holy Truth.
WEDNESDAY, 24 OCTOBER 2018
I am caught between a rock and a hard place. I have made it a habit the last few decades to dig deep in my soul for all kinds of secrets, for all kinds of interesting things that make me who and what I am and that make me do what I do.
For example, I have begun thinking about the programming I received as a child in terms of adult life expectations, and more specifically programming about money. What I’ve discovered was that I received a few lessons that made the likelihood of eventual financial success slimmer than it could have been. (For example, that my life was part of a cosmic game between Good and Evil and that I had limited control over my own success, or that my own success was subject to this cosmic game – if the Cosmic Game Master found it necessary for me to be a complete failure, there wasn’t much I could do about it.)
The problem? Most of these lessons I learned from my beloved parents.
Here’s the rock: I would like to dig deeper, to better understand myself, and to understand what I need to change to do better in the future. And the hard place: I may discover more things that might put my parents in a bad light.
A possible conclusion: My parents are just ordinary people. Of course they made mistakes, as their parents had made mistakes, and their parents’ parents before them, and so on. What is important is that these “erroneous lessons”, this “erroneous programming”, were meant to help – and it could have, had things ended up working differently.
Therefore, if I dig deeper, I may discover mistakes my parents had made, but all that reveals is that they are just ordinary people who tried their best. This is a conclusion which I, and I believe my parents, can live with.
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