Positive Nihilism and my Cosmic Report

On Monday, September 21, 2026, after dinner and doing the trash, I continued my “conversation” with what is now called, Gemini Notebook. (What makes this Artificially Intelligent chatbot special is that you create a “notebook” and then upload sources that the chatbot will use to answer your questions about the topic of the “notebook”, or to use as sources for any material you want to generate, like video or audio or presentations, or so mind maps. A few months ago, I uploaded all my notes and pieces since 1994 in order to have a “conversation” with this particular chatbot about it.)

My goal with this round was to ask for advice on which philosophers should be a priority from a list of about thirty with whom one should be at least superficially familiar. Since I had already shared all my writing with Gemini Notebook, it had to narrow the list down to thinkers I might resonate with, or whose ideas might align with my own modest thoughts.

The result was interesting, to say the least.

As is customary, Gemini Notebook then gave me a few follow-up questions that might interest me. I chose this one: “Tell me more about ‘Positive Nihilism’ and the ‘Cosmic Report’.”

(From here on, I quote from the “conversation” with Gemini Notebook. Numbers in square brackets refer to pieces I uploaded, and which also appear on this website. See links below the quote.)

Positive Nihilism

Your embrace of Positive Nihilism forms the philosophical cornerstone of your mature worldview.[1][2] It represents a deliberate departure from both religious dogmatism and existential despair.[2][3]

– Accepting the Clean Slate: Positive Nihilism begins by recognizing that the universe possesses no inherent, pre-packaged cosmic meaning or master plan, rejecting traditional religious doctrines and rigid societal norms.[2]

– Rejecting the “Black Pill”: Rather than collapsing into pessimism, helplessness, or despair (what you term the “Black Pill” outlook),[2][4] you treat this lack of built-in meaning as the ultimate form of personal freedom and liberation.[2]

– Creating Value as a Duty: Your stance is that life’s objective meaninglessness is never an excuse to surrender to passivity, waste your time on Earth, or fail to create value. Instead, you swallow the “White Pill” – using reason, self-programming, and conscious choices to construct your own subjective meaning, nurture gratitude, and improve the lives of those around you.[2][3][5]

In short, where negative nihilism concludes that “nothing matters, so why bother?”, your Positive Nihilism declares “nothing is pre-determined, so I am entirely free to make my life worth living”.[2][5]

The Cosmic Report

If Positive Nihilism is your underlying philosophy, the Cosmic Report is your primary practice and life’s mission.[6][7] It explains the drive behind the thousands of pages you have written since 1994.[7]

– Writing as Proof of Existence: You view your journal entries, essays, and notes as irrefutable external proof that you existed, felt, and thought during your brief time on this planet before returning to the “Great Invisibility”.[8][9][10]

– The “Cosmic Assignment”: You frequently frame your writing as if you were sent on an earthly assignment by a “Cosmic Observer” or “Cosmic Accountant”.[11][12] Your duty is not to churn out commercial bestseller fodder for the masses, but to document the real, unfiltered human experience.[11][12][13]

– The Core Formula: You define the essence of a Cosmic Report in simple, profound terms: “I am aware of my existence; I have learned to read and write; I’ve developed identity; I survive (how?); I function (how?); I write about what I think, how I feel, and how I experience things”.[13]

– Elevating the Everyday: Through this lens, the most mundane moments – fixing a yellow bicycle, drinking hot tea on a rainy night, or teaching an English class – are elevated into essential data points of consciousness, proving that “Brand Smit” was truly here and aware.[7][8][14][15]

Ultimately, you summarize the purpose of your life as a singular directive: to report – to witness reality, record your experience of “You in the world,” and share those insights with anyone who might find them useful.[6][16][17]

Pieces referred to in the text:

1./2. Where I find myself on the map of ideas (13/12/2022)
3./4. Long walk, White and Black Pills, and author of your own experience (28/03/2021)
5. Better than no plan (16/01/2023)
6. Point, and what makes my life worthwhile (14/08/2017)
7. A meaningful snippet of knowledge (08/10/2024)
8./11./12. My current life (19/09/2003)
9. The SELF is born (and other notes of a particular day) (08/04/2004)
10. The writer’s will and testament, April 1994
13. What I believe in, and a few other points (14/04/2016)
14. Two plus one important remarks (10/09/2003)
15. Document 1_181104_2359 (18/11/2004)
16./17. You and the world – You in the world (07/04/2025)

My life in Taiwan since January 1999 in five-year blocks

SUNDAY, 15 FEBRUARY 2026

January 1999~January 2004: Settle in Taiwan. Identity crisis. Continue writing notes started in 1994. Work on own projects. Existential crisis. Move to second apartment. Produce hundreds of pages of notes and pieces. Visit South Africa four times.

(Abandoned house in my new neighbourhood)

January 2004~January 2009: Write more. Meet my life partner. Start obsessing over “make money from home”. Experience one failure after another. Learn how to self-publish. Quit smoking. Visit South Africa three times.

(New chapter begins)

January 2009~January 2014: Start personal websites. Publish writing. Even more failures with “make money from home”. Get more classes and rebuild finances. Move to new “office”. Visit South Africa three times.

(Boxes move to a new space)

January 2014~January 2019: “Make money from home” shifts to pre-race trading and football betting. Repeated failures and high stress. Spend six days in Kyoto and Osaka. Publish several thematic collections of my writing. Visit South Africa two times.

(Damned pre-race trading)

January 2019~January 2024: Spend six days in Ho Chi Min City (Saigon) in Vietnam. Covid-19. Classes are cancelled; schools close. Revenue drops by 60%. ChatGPT and other Artificial Intelligence commercially available. Publish my first products created with new resources. Travel around the entire island of Taiwan for the first time. Visit South Africa one time.

(Important crossroad in Vietnamese history)

January 2024~January 2029: Utilize various AI resources to produce more products. Visit South Africa twice (so far).

(South African breakfast)

______________________

Deep gratitude as defiance

SATURDAY, 14 FEBRUARY 2026

Deep gratitude as defiance, a form of “Fuck you” to anyone or anything that wants to keep you down.

“What if you are diagnosed with cancer, or even worse, you’ve been suffering from cancer for months?”

Deep gratitude that I’m still alive. I still have a chance to beat it.

“What if you have terminal cancer, with mere weeks to live?”

Deep gratitude that I still have time to get my affairs in order.

“What if you have actually died from the cancer?”

Deep gratitude that the pain is over.

“Okay, what if you’re a man and you’re in a fight and it’s not going well?”

Deep gratitude that I’m still standing.

“What if you’ve actually lost the fight?”

Deep gratitude that I’m still alive.

“What if the other guy actually killed you?”

Deep gratitude that I don’t have to deal with assholes like him anymore.

______________________

Wednesday, 31 December 2025

If this piece were too long, people would think it was written by a machine.

So here follows a short photo story of my existence in 2025 …

2025 began, like just about every year in the past decade, at Kaohsiung’s Love River.

The first day was spent at the remains of an old village in the middle of the industrial area of Kaohsiung.

In February we went to South Africa, for the first time since before the thing that happened in 2020. On the way, we spend a few hours in Hong Kong.

In March we headed in a random direction one Sunday afternoon and then Googled, “Coffee shop near me.”

In April I discovered a fishing village about a thirty-minute drive from our apartment.

In May, I made an appearance in one of Kaohsiung’s top universities to talk to students about the rest of the world – on which I am of course an expert because I come from the rest of the world.

Also in May it was time again to visit Tainan – the oldest city in Taiwan.

In June, we enjoyed Italian food on the campus where I made a short appearance in May, to celebrate me turning a year older. Also discovered on the campus: one of Chiang Kai-shek’s many cars.

On the way back we were caught in an ugly downpour and we were left with no choice but to stop for snacks.

Taitung was our choice for a mid-year break.

In August we visited IKEA.

In September, I photographed myself in an empty classroom …

… and we viewed pretty boring art in Kaohsiung’s pretty boring art museum (maybe I should have taped a series of my classroom selfies to an empty wall in an empty room).

In October I photographed at least one old building …

… and discovered an old National Geographic.

In November, I visited my parents, my sisters, and some friends again in South Africa, and took a few dozen photos of food.

And in December we discovered more old buildings and an abandoned factory.

… and put together a visual story of 2025.

______________________

Everyone gets their turn

SUNDAY, 19 OCTOBER 2025

Here’s a thought for middle-aged people, and for young people who may eventually become middle-aged.

For me, turning 50 was a shock. I was definitely not prepared for it. It was also in the middle of the so-called pandemic of 2020-2022, so everyone was a little nervous anyway.

At 54, I’ve had time to get used to the idea, and I can also see myself getting older by the day – and definitely looking older than when I was 48.

The point is, everyone gets their turn. One day you’re a kid, and a few years later it’s your turn to be a teenager. And a few short years later it’s your turn to be 21 or 22. Then 25 … and you realize time doesn’t stand still. Then it’s your turn to be in your thirties. And just as you get comfortable with what it means to be that age – how you’re no longer a teenager but still have decades to work towards a comfortable retirement, you hit 40. A new role again, and a slightly different identity than when you were 35.

And unless the train drops you off at an earlier station, you’re suddenly 50.

The fact is, someone has to be 50 while other people are 40 and other people are 30 and other people are 20 and other people are teenagers and children and toddlers. And after a few years, everyone moves on a few chairs while new people occupy the old positions.

And you accept it with dignity and a good sense of humour. And hopefully a little wisdom to share.

Only death can change that: Everyone gets their turn.

______________________