Assorted Notes

WEDNESDAY, 11 MAY 2005

09:25

“Now we know that animals get bored, and that they try to enrich their environment so that they don’t feel it.” ~ from an Animal Planet documentary

15:38

“Brand” pitched up at his Wednesday class this afternoon, as he does every week. Today he was wearing his black trousers – because he thought it was going to rain and a wet patch on his butt would not have shown so prominently on the black material, and a grey T-shirt – because it doesn’t have buttons, which made it the easiest item with which he could cover his torso.

18:35

[Rick Warren is an “Evangelical Christian” with conservative political and social values. I abandoned that socio-cultural group more than twenty years ago. But does that mean that a person like him could never say anything that can have any value for a person with ignostic* beliefs and progressive political and social values? That will be fairly short-sighted, wouldn’t it?

As the following notes would prove, remove the religious references, and enough is left over from several statements he makes in his book, The Purpose Driven Church, to derive some useful advice from.]

Rick Warren writes in The Purpose Driven Church that people should not ask what they can do to allow their churches to grow, but rather what obstacles inhibit growth. A good point for my own life as well, especially for objectives that have been established a long time ago.

Also: “For the past twenty years, I have been a student of […]. In my travels as […] I have visited hundreds of […] around the world. In each instance I made notes on why some […] and why others […]. I’ve talked to thousands of […] and interviewed hundreds of […] about what they’ve observed […]. Years ago I wrote to the one hundred largest […] and spent a year researching […]. I’ve read nearly every book in print on […].”

[Regardless of whether or not he really talked with thousands of people about X, Y or Z, the above gives you an idea of how research should be done on any matter relating to the human condition.

It also gives me some insight into why people sometimes treat me with contempt when I disagree with them about religion. They might be thinking about a book like Rick Warren’s that they may have read or are currently reading, and then they’d look at me and think: Who the hell do you think you are? Based on what do you think you know better than me?]

“Everything seems new if you are ignorant of history.”

“I started [an institution] in 1980, and spend the next fifteen years testing, applying and refining the principles, processes and practices in this book. Like a research and development center, we’ve experimented with all kinds of approaches […]. [The institution] has served as a laboratory for everything written in this book […]. I’ve waited twenty years to write this book because I did not want to write it prematurely. Instead, I’ve let the concepts percolate and develop and mature. Nothing in this book is theory. […] What is needed are answers to real problems that have been proven effective in actual […] settings.”

“If I didn’t believe pastors have the best chance of making a difference in our world, I’d be doing something else; I have no intention of wasting my life. […] The key is to never stop learning.”

“My bookshelves contain more than a dozen books written by people I’ve trained who have put my ideas in print before I did. That doesn’t matter to me. We’re all on the same team.”

“‘Hasn’t enough been written yet?’ you may ask. ‘Why another book?’ What I hope to offer in this book is an insider’s perspective.”

“You’ve heard that it is ‘wise to learn from experience.’ But it is wiser yet to learn from the experience of others. It is less painful, too! Life is too short to learn everything by personal experience. You can save yourself a lot of time and energy by gleaming from others the lessons they’ve learned the hard way. That’s the purpose of books like this one.”

“I’ve learned that most can’t hear until they’ve first been heard.”

[All quotations are from The Purpose Driven Church, by Rick Warren (1995)]

* [“Ignosticism or igtheism is the idea that every theological position assumes too much about the concept of God and other theological concepts. Some philosophers have seen ignosticism as a variation of agnosticism or atheism, whereas others have considered it to be distinct.” en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ignosticism]

[Scott Adams would only write the following in 2014, but it adds to the idea that it is pretty childish to refuse to read a certain book just because you do not consider yourself part of the writer’s group: “In recent years I’ve come to see religion as a valid user interface to reality. The so-called ‘truth’ of the universe is irrelevant because our tiny brains aren’t equipped to understand it anyway.”]

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MONDAY, 9 MAY 2005

13:23

Two people spend time together. They become increasingly comfortable with each other. They trust each other more and more – also with their own fears and shortcomings. They become more and more dependent on each other for companionship, camaraderie and support. They become friends, lovers, soul mates – a universal phenomenon that cuts across time, culture, historical era, socio-economic background, religion and all other divisions between people.

It is a process that should be nurtured.

16:56

Busy reading the vocabulary list to the 16:30 to 18:00 class when the word “irrelevant” pops up in my mind, as in “I am afraid after all my efforts my life is in fact irrelevant, with value for only a few other people …”

– a mundane life –

– a life of no significance –

[16/06/15 “value for only a few other people” – what is the magic number? 7? 53? 125? when your life has value for how many people will you not regard your life as irrelevant anymore? you save one person from drowning – do you look around for other people that may be drowning because one just isn’t enough? you save one person from soul-destroying poverty – not good enough? not even worth the effort, you’ll think?]

20:26

The “redemption plan” as preached by so-called “Evangelical Christians” rests on one principle: the identity of God and the individual “Christian” confirming this proclaimed identity.

* * *

The boundaries of many people’s ambitions and view of the kind of life they can live is based to a large extent on one thing: “You should be glad that at least you have …”

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THURSDAY, 5 MAY 2005

[…]

So it came that I was riding back from the train station thinking about the things I had realised since this morning “Do I want to love her despite a few bad habits she has?” I finally asked myself.

“Yes,” I replied.

The follow-up question: “Is it because I need her?”

“I cannot deny that I need her,” I replied, “but I don’t like what the question implies.”

Left at the traffic light, hundred or so metres to the first abandoned houses: “Do you love her for your own sake?”

“No,” I muttered, immediately feeling a breeze of goodwill rushing over me. “I want to love her for her sake.”

And that is it: sweet with the sour, just like she has to make peace with my bad habits, and my obsessions and my shortcomings. I am, and want to love her despite whatever habits she may have – and not just because how she copes with it is a much more important manifestation of her core personality. I want to love her because she, like me, should know how it feels to be loved, and because I do not want her to spend a single day without love, and because I am capable of loving her.

FRIDAY, 6 MAY 2005

17:54

Odd thing is there is always the possibility of failure.

“In what?” you may ask.

Think of anything and where success is the hope, failure is a possibility.

Why do I think about this now?

Don’t know. Friday afternoon, rain, summer is approaching, projects that cannot come to an end …

19:11

“Could I teach six hours of English classes per day, have no projects, read and build model aircraft as my only hobbies, and every evening after work come home and watch TV – and read and build model aircraft?” was the question I asked myself out of curiosity between 18:30 and 19:00. Perhaps the question was somewhat inevitable considering the previous notation regarding failure, and because I have a suspicion that I am psychologically incapable of such a lifestyle.

My answer was, no. Such a life is no longer a possibility for me. I have to play a “role”, or serve a “purpose” in the Greater View of Things. The POINT around which my life revolves must have value beyond my own little world, or, beyond the world I experience here and now through my senses. I have already come too far to imagine myself not having come this far. The detours are long gone; the only way is forward.

What is this life that I seek? To a large extent it is about two things: time and money – financial independence in order to own my own time, to be able to apply my time towards certain results, in a life that revolves around a particular POINT.

“Does your time not always belong to you in any case, if only in principle?” you may wonder.

Fact is I am not in the mood to fuck around with “in principle”. Take for example the time when I am making this very note: it does not belong to me. I sold this time, these particular minutes I am living through right now to [the owners of a language school] months ago. On a Friday night between 19:00 and 20:30 I am therefore not free to do what I want … (19:30)

SATURDAY, 7 MAY 2005

11:10

To achieve independent wealth through entrepreneurship and creativity, in order to own (most of) my own time, in order to dedicate – to apply – my daily existence to the pursuit of goals that will not only be to my own benefit, but that will be beneficial to the fulfilment of the potential of other people to lead purposeful, constructive, benevolent and happy lives. To allow my own earthly existence to revolve around this central POINT.

11:20

I understand and accept that not everyone who wants to lead purposeful, constructive lives that will also generate value in the lives of others need to “achieve independent wealth … in order to own [their] own time”.

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TUESDAY, 3 MAY 2005

One ad on CNN reckons some people “live inspired lives”. I like the idea, but what would be the opposite? What name should we give to a life that is not so much inspired … and inspired by what? An idea?

WEDNESDAY, 4 MAY 2005

15:41

Sometimes a person’s life unfolds in a way that leads you to understand that there is a POINT around which your life revolves. What then happens is that everything you do can be seen in terms of how far away this activity is from this POINT. Basic hygiene and food intake, for example, sustain the body, which is necessary for you to allow your life (which is not viable without the body) to revolve around this POINT. So it is with work, or then income generating labour, which is done in the first place to earn capital to sustain your life (unless your work is the POINT of your life, which is a matter you have to sort out with yourself). Another example is my own EFL projects. I am currently contemplating whether a series should consist of three or five books, how many pictures will be included, whether the book should be in colour or black and white, how many and what kind of exercises I should include, the dimensions of the book, and so on. As long as I know these decisions I have to make are still related to the POINT of my life (in this case in a secondary/sustaining/conducive role), I can continue with this activity without developing an existential crisis about it.

17:02

Everything revolves around the POINT.

The POINT is not a goal you strive for and reach – it is something around which your life revolves. You do however strive for a long time to accomplish something so that your life can revolve around this POINT.

[27/01/15: What is “purpose” and what is “point”? A purpose is a reason for doing something (like staying alive). You can either succeed with this purpose, or you can fail. A point is an axis around which things revolve. Why do things revolve around this particular axis? Perhaps because it enables you to strive towards a particular purpose. Therefore: to strive towards and fulfil the purpose of your life, your life must revolve around a certain point.]

[13/06/15: A woman says, “To keep my children happy and to raise them properly so that they themselves can one day become productive members of society and help maintain civilisation, is the purpose of my life … No, wait. The woman actually says: “The purpose of my life is to make a contribution to make the world a decent place to live in, for myself, for my children, for all the other people I love, and for all those with whom we share our world. Considering that I see that as the purpose of my existence, I see my primary role at this stage of my life as keeping my children happy and raising them properly so that they can also someday become productive members of society and do their part to maintain civilisation. To do this, to play this role properly, my children have to be the POINT around which my life currently revolves.”]

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SUNDAY, 1 MAY 2005

Cursory thoughts:

1. Define how you see yourself and who you want to be – as well as the associated role you would like to play and end results for which you would like to apply your life; the daily process of Being Who You Are/Who You Defined Yourself To Be as personal religion. In other words, advanced self-knowledge and self-definition lead to the replacement of institutionalised religion, or the replacement of traditional or handed-down “truths” as religion – that is, the mechanism through which you form part of everything that is, has been, and may still come. The self as a personal god? No. To imply that would be to miss the point, or to call a pumpkin a carrot.

2. Religion serves a purpose – identity, belonging to a bigger reality, and so on. Specific content of a religion – traditional beliefs and perceptions of truth, plus ritual, community, etcetera – activates the frankenstein that is religion in principle [religion, any religion, is like the body that is in theory able to do things and produce results; specific content is like the “soul” or life energy that animates the body and even gives it personality]. What does this say then of specific content – the Christ story, or Mohammed and the Koran, or any other specific content?

MONDAY, 2 MAY 2005

10:54

(Remember Hatchet Monday, 3 May 2004?)

I am standing in the kitchen, which is looking a little different since last night, still in Lane 2, Number 4-2, Benevolent Light New Village. My bowl of muesli with yogurt, fresh banana slices and grapes is waiting next to my cup of hot green tea for me to finish this note. Savuka is singing Track 5 (“Ibola Lethu”) from my recycled Aiwa hi-fi’s side, the sun is shining nicely, the fan is blowing out its own rhythm, the potted plants on the window sill are coming along just fine, and in the back room [N.] is working out on the exercise bike … Hatchet Monday? Twelve months and a million miles away.

20:32

Some thoughts:

Point 1: Moses did not lead the people of Israel into the Promised Land but only to the border area. To take them all the way was not his calling; it was not his purpose, nor his role or his function. What was indeed his calling, his purpose, his role and function was to guide them through the wilderness and bring them to the edge of the Promised Land.

Point 2: [My friend, E.] and I are standing at Dorex’s counter ordering drinks. I see the tall guy with the shaggy hair emerges – because he can speak English, and his female colleague steps back – because she can’t. I place my order, respond with adequate but not excessive civility, take money out of my wallet, hand it over, receive my change and a receipt and a slip with our order number, and manoeuvre between the tables and some people to where we are going to sit, waiting for our order.

Two thoughts register: 1) I functioned well enough in the environment in which I found myself; I was indeed a reasonable and civilised organic robot; and 2) exactly such a situation and associated functioning could have tipped me over the edge had the right things not clicked at the right moments.

Point 3: In a so-called communist state only five to fifteen percent of the population are members of the Communist Party. The rest perform their functions, fill up places that are more or less important, and play their more or less important roles. The members of the Party have, in principle, more important ideological roles to play – they are indeed responsible, or at least more so than the rest of the population, for the success of the revolution.

It made me think that I might be like an idealistic revolutionary who tries to preach the message that everyone is equally important, that everyone has important roles to play, that everyone ought to discover or define their true purpose, role and function and then fulfil these roles and functions to truly give value to their lives.

But, maybe some people are more important than others – in the Greater View of Things. Maybe some people’s callings, roles, functions and purposes they aim to serve are simply more important than other people’s.

Finally, taking into account the idea that being “Brand Smit” is my personal religion, I just want to mention that I am currently not experiencing sufficient ritualistic confirmation of my particular attachment to the Greater Truth. I take notes, I learn Chinese … and I teach my classes and work on EFL material, which is important because it earns me an income which will help me in the process of making my environment and need fulfilment conducive for my primary labour.

However, it is of utmost importance that I return as soon as possible to PRIMARILY writing.

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