Things I had to learn, and things I still need to learn

FRIDAY, 9 MAY 2008

Here are the notes I should have made on Friday, 10 February 2006:

Besides learning to make money from home, in my own time, and with work that I see fit, I set myself the following goals over the next two or three years:

1. I have to learn to fail utterly and completely, and then to start again the next day, and to fail utterly and completely again, and to start again the next day.

2. I have to learn to venture an opinion and make predictions, and to be totally wrong, and the next day to again venture opinions and make predictions, and to be totally wrong again, and then the next day to again risk an opinion and make predictions.

3. I have to learn to be patient. I have to learn to progress painfully slowly, even slipping back every few days almost to where I had started, and then to continue the following day.

Oh, and I have to learn all the above whilst someone whose respect I want to be worthy of witnesses each and every one of my failures, and knows of almost every single time I am and have been wrong.

MONDAY, 19 MAY 2008

If you stop breathing, you die. If you stop trying, you fail by default.

SATURDAY, 24 MAY 2008

“One of four thousand,” dictates my mind while I am lying flat on my back.

One of four thousand writers now living, who write about life in a certain way. And because not all these writers are active – for a variety of reasons, it makes the work of the writers who do write so much more important.

THURSDAY, 29 MAY 2008

Just over the bridge on the way to my usual dinner place yesterday, I thought of how many times I have boasted – not intentionally, but still – about great wealth the past two years, and how Natasja has listened to it all, how she has seen how little has materialised thus far, and how she still loves me.

By the time I parked my bike next to the lamppost, a thought had struck me right between the eyes. I shall illustrate it thus: Once a woman has decided to love a man – or when it happens in the mysterious way it does, the man on the receiving end can casually proceed straight to the nearest Daoist temple. On the way, he can pick up a kilogramme of joss sticks and once at the temple, light up one after the other while thanking, solemnly, and with tears welling up in his eyes, every single figure or statue that resembles any kind of deity for the good fortune that had befallen him.

SATURDAY, 31 MAY 2008

(Part of a larger kitchen contemplation of Eros and Thanatos: the desire to live and the desire to die.)

I take good things for granted, dismiss them as insignificant, or even ignore them, while I consider unfavourable outcomes – even relatively trivial events – as incontrovertible evidence that “things are not right”, that I am busy “screwing up”, that “things are obviously not working out – and perhaps never will”.

By the way, who am I, and what am I doing with my life?

______________________

The love of a woman – ready for another day’s journey

THURSDAY, 1 MAY 2008

The love of a woman – from a man’s perspective

Picture a man walking in a desert. He’s been walking for days. He has run out of food and water, and he is dehydrated. He stumbles as he descends down a dune. Rolls to the bottom. Just lies there.

Then, at that moment, a rescue plane appears in the blue sky above him. Someone parachutes down with emergency supplies. Three hours later a jeep ambulance arrives.

A few days later he wakes up in a hospital. He is connected to tubes, and doctors and nurses are monitoring his condition. He is going to be okay, the doctor assures everyone in the waiting room.

This, from the moment the rescue plane appeared, to the assurance of the doctor, this is the love of a woman. It is a most fortunate turn of events in the life of any man.

(for Natasja)

FRIDAY, 2 MAY 2008

[…]

The thought culminated in a demand for a term that can be applied to the last two years of my life. A few months ago, I started calling it the Second Commercial Dictatorship, but meaning to be a bit more descriptive and more accurate, I said: A time of discovery, failure, embarrassment, faith, disillusionment – and the beginning of the end of financial incompetence.

THURSDAY, 8 MAY 2008

By Wednesday or Thursday or Friday repetition of the same boring actions and a lack of creative fulfilment become a problem. A good way to handle this is to go out for drinks, to play some tennis, or to watch a movie.

I, however, force myself back into my office chair, and the routine continues – whatever the routine is that particular week. My state of mind is therefore susceptible to any mistakes I make, to results that are not as good as I hoped they would be, even to good results that are “too little, too slow”.

The outcome is predictable: “It” does not work. I have to do “something else”. “It” is too slow. Perhaps I should look at “this” or “that” again.

If I had just sat down – on the green couch – and read a book, or watched a movie, I would have been on the road again after a few hours, or the next day. Well-rested. Ready for another day’s journey.

But the way I approach the problem is like someone who has been on the road since shortly after breakfast. Instead of finding a motel when it starts getting dark, after ten or so hours on the road, the man continues driving, without stop. Until he crashes into a truck or a telephone pole.

______________________

A few things I had learned by April 2008

THURSDAY, 10 APRIL 2008

Too much. Headache. No creative thoughts. Can’t think of angles. Desperate for short-term gratification. Go to bed late. Wake up early. Breakfast doesn’t inspire … Natasja is beautiful. She’s the absolute light of my life.

FRIDAY, 18 APRIL 2008

What I learned this week, by Brand Smit

Any way you want to make money can be described as a job. For some people it is teaching English; for others, it is marketing through original articles, or marketing by way of a dozen mini blogs, or pay-per-click advertising campaigns; and for some it is sports betting, horse racing or the buying and selling of prices on a betting exchange.

At least basic training is essential before you start doing any job. More advanced training, both theoretical and practical, is crucial if you are serious about making a long-term success of anything.

Everybody knows this, right? And yet, how many jobs have I not taken the past more than two years without even the most basic training?

One example is marketing through your own website: I assumed the fact that I could produce my own content qualified me for the job. I could not have been more wrong.

Many argue: “Start taking action the first day. Don’t waste too much time on reading how to do something.”

I understand about parking at the traffic light. But how much time isn’t wasted by starting a job without an essential understanding of how to do it right? In terms of marketing on the Internet, we are talking time – precious time that is wasted as if hours and days and weeks and months are cheap commodities. In terms of betting and trading, losses are measured in precious dollars.

It is easy to underestimate the difficulty of work with which you can earn money from home. It is also true that you can overestimate the complexity, and never start with anything.

Know that you will waste time and that you will lose money if you start a project without the necessary training; also know that neither time nor money will ever produce any kind of return if you never start applying what you learn.

WEDNESDAY, 30 APRIL 2008

The other day I recited for Natasja the following quote: “Fear of failure leads to fear of commitment.”

I added: “I was always afraid of failure, so I tried to avoid it at all cost.”

After the obligatory pause, a confession, followed by an embarrassed chuckle: “I have failed so many times in the past two years …”

I had to learn to become humble. I had to learn of failure. And, as I also recently realised, I had to learn about regret.

______________________

Writing to make money; writing as my duty

[Since many people will not be familiar with the references, the following: 1) One of the first ways of making money on the Internet to which you are exposed when you start investigating these things is so-called “affiliate marketing” where you convince people to buy certain products. How does it work? You provide people with a link (“Click here for more information!”); a piece of code is planted on the person’s computer; when the person pays for the product the company that processes the payment picks up that the transaction had followed a certain route; you get credit for the transaction; a few weeks later you get paid a commission for your efforts. One of the ways you get people to click on your special link is to place the link in an article dealing with a particular problem or covering some niche interest, or at the end of a product review. 2) Squidoo.com was a website where anyone could start a page on any topic they were interested in. The pages were called “lenses”. 3) “Private label” refers to text or any other digital content or media people produce which they sell to other people with permission to modify as they wish and to publish under their own names. 4) “Pay-per-click” refers to small text ads that appear above or next to Google’s search results (and those of some other search engines) and on some web pages; advertisers pay for these ads depending on how many times people click on them or on how many times they appear. 5) “PDF” is an electronic document format. 6) Article directories are sites with thousands of articles on hundreds of topics. In 2008 when this text was written, article directories were popular places where you could get free content for your website with the only conditions being that you could not change the article in any way and you had to include the author’s details when you published it on your own site. It was therefore also a good way to get exposure for yourself and for your own website.]

THURSDAY, 3 APRIL 2008

10:41

I have no desire to look for a reason why I do not yet have millions of dollars in cash to unpack on my apartment floor to stare at.

A question does come to mind: How many of the projects that are currently on my list require that I write something? The answer: everything except the sports and financial markets, and perhaps pay-per-click advertising.

The next question: How much writing have I produced in the past 26 months to market something? Answer: A few paragraphs here and there; a few product reviews; three articles; a few Squidoo lens introductions; and a PDF with an introduction, ten short pieces about different ways to make money, and an advertisement for the “private label” version. In short, not much.

Anyone who knows anything about Internet marketing will say a prerequisite for any one-person show to get anywhere is unique content, mostly text. Dozens of products are sold or provided at no cost to help people with something that many regard as daunting – software, templates, how-to products, all of which were developed to assist people through the process of writing articles. There are sites where people can find writers to produce content for them at the cost of a few dollars per item. There are private label sites where people can buy bundles of articles that they can change however they like and then publish under their own names. There are books that aim to teach you how to earn a regular full-time income by producing private label material for other people, because … people need content for their websites, and they do not always have the time or ability to create the content themselves.

The production of text is indeed an industry that has arisen because people want to make money on the Internet. And you learn quickly: No content for your web pages; no profit.

Fantastic, I thought right at the start. I don’t have money to throw in any project’s direction, but I can write. This is going to be easy! And I can write about anything. I can read what other people have written and then give my own spin on the topic. I can scan through dozens of PDFs and then write articles in which I can stick my affiliate links and – then I can sit back and wait for that first fat commission check!

Twenty-six months later. If I had to take everything that I have written so far to market something, throw it together in a document and call it a book, I would tear my clothes and grind my teeth (not too hard, though; my one tooth already has a crack in it). The three articles I submitted to the article directories last year were okay. I could still publish them under my real name. One woman even left a comment in which she said, “That was exactly what I needed to hear today!”

You can fool most people some of the time, but you should never try to deceive yourself. I try to write articles about horse racing betting systems and affiliate marketing, and in the pipeline is text on dog training, tattoos, and muscle-building. Imagine that. No wonder the real writer is on a go-slow.

The good news is that there are ways to make money on the Internet where you don’t need to write anything, such as sports trading, sports betting and trading on the financial markets.

Does that mean all money-making opportunities that require written text are forever lost to me because the writer inside me finds it psychologically unbearable to write about anything that is not a matter of life and death?

Fortunately not. There is after all private label content – and the writer does not have a problem with editing and rewriting, free articles you can publish on your own sites, material on which copyright has expired, and the possibility of outsourcing all essential text. The problem is, in actual fact, not a problem at all. As long as I do not expect myself to do anything more than editing text that has already been written.

Funny how I thought the big problem was with me not wanting to be a marketer …

So, it seems that contrary to my initial perception, I don’t have an existential problem with engaging in activities intended to market something. It is even less of a problem if I can do it under a pseudonym, or even better, anonymously. Internet marketing is after all not the same as selling hot dogs outside a sports stadium, or trying to pawn off “Win a Ford!” tickets to unsuspecting people who saunter into a shopping mall.

* * *

“Break the deadlock, or stay broke,” I wrote the other day on a piece of paper on the kitchen wall. And in my notebook, I wrote on Tuesday, 25 March 2008: “If this is also too much for my sensitive character who never wants to compromise, I almost want to say, ‘That’s it! I am walking away from what I have become, as it is now clear that I’m doomed to a lifetime of teaching people to speak English! I’m going to find myself a new body to inhabit!’” At exactly eleven o’clock that night I wrote: “The new idea [something about which I was excited for a few weeks] have two comments written in pencil across it, ‘critical success’ and ‘typical failure’. The question is: Which one will be written in pen?”

What does this mean? My notes on the process of trying to make money on the Internet is useful here and there from a literary perspective. Anything more than that – or less literary than that, must simply come from another source.

17:31

I look at the notes from the last 26 months, and I say to myself: Look at it not as a story of developing success or as a series of failures, look at with a single question on your lips: Has the scribe done his duty and faithfully made notes about this latest period in the life of the human, “Brand Smit”?

______________________

Problem with my ambition to become a successful marketer

TUESDAY, 1 APRIL 2008

I simply have to accept it: Something is amiss in my ambition to become a successful marketer. After two years, I know most of the tricks, loopholes, “secret” techniques, systems, steps, trends, and so on, but I am not moving one inch forward!

I want the money; that’s for sure. And heaven knows I’ve collected enough material to know what I should do.

I wrote a lot of notes and essays on many topics before starting with this marketing business. I get paid to have conversations with Taiwanese adults, so communication shouldn’t be a problem. And I have learned to register domain names and build websites.

So, what is my problem with Internet marketing?

Write thirty articles a week on whatever is the latest fad; fill a dozen blogs with the same boring content as dozens of other blogs; write e-books on topics about which you don’t need to know much because it’s so easy to fake it; bookmark your own web content to fool search engines into indexing your content quicker.

If other people produce good quality content for me, I can consider managing certain projects. But I’ll be stuck at square number zero forever if I’m going to force myself to do things that I cannot possibly commit myself to.

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