[A few months earlier I had still considered identifying myself to the community of expats as one of them, with the benefits one would expect with inclusion in any group. However, by the beginning of autumn 1997, I began to ask: “Who are these people? Why should I identify myself to them?”]
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Thursday, 2 October 1997
The past few months I’ve been going through a significant phase of personal development. After a period of social interaction, I began to isolate myself again from mainstream currents.
Why? I don’t trust people’s judgment; I have no respect for their social agenda; their limited pool of standards and labels according to which they categorise and weigh you is laughable. Talk about sexual conquests and wild experiences doesn’t impress me. I’m tired of pretending to be one of them and to be exposed to their inability to judge people in a proper way.
I see no sense in either being accepted on their terms or to be merely tolerated. And to be rejected because I don’t fit into their social program and because I don’t make their limited world a little more interesting really makes no difference to my life.
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