Set yourself up for opportunity and luck – even if you never become a superstar

WEDNESDAY, 5 JANUARY 2022

To build on a thought from last week or so: If you look at most people in their middle years or later, it’s clear that they never became superstars. They may be “superstars” to their families, but very few people end up with exceptional talents and achievements in any area, much less in more than one area – such as sports and art, or engineering and cooking.

The other part of the thought is that even people who achieve superstar status sometimes do more harm than good. Despite all their achievements and prizes and status.

So even though you never achieved superstar status, never won any prizes for your work, never achieved much in any field, but it can also be said that you did little harm to other people, to animals, and to the environment, I think it’s entirely appropriate to say that you can hold your head high – you’ve done well.

MONDAY, 24 JANUARY 2022

Point 1. As already mentioned, very few people become superstars. Only a select group of people achieve more than one or two of the things they once set out to do or hoped to achieve.

Point 2. One person criticises another for his unimpressive income and low contribution to a common cause. Asks the latter: “Are you making as much money as you possibly can? Are you doing everything in your power to get more done? Why don’t you make more money? Too busy enjoying life? Can’t figure out how? Tried but failed? Tried but didn’t try hard enough?”

Point 3. Few people create income opportunities out of thin air. Most people accept opportunities offered to them, and then they work hard to maintain these sources of income. But did they create the opportunity for themselves? No.

Point 4. What does happen is that people prepare to profit from existing opportunities by training in a certain field and by gaining certain knowledge.

* * *

I. Identify a good opportunity – for you. People’s needs and desires are all opportunities.

II. Get trained or gain experience in a particular opportunity field. Then set yourself up to profit from existing opportunities. (Training doesn’t happen overnight. If you’re twenty, you have the option to get trained for several things. If you’re fifty, you can still get trained or develop skills yourself, but you’re more likely to look at what you’re already trained for, or at what you’re already experienced in.)

III. I initially thought that 99% of all the money I made in my life came from opportunities that were presented to me – from people asking me if I was interested in a position in a gift shop when I was a student to people in Taiwan walking up to me or calling me at home or knocking on my door and asking me if I had time for another English class. Then about a minute ago I realised: I was set up for the opportunities, in the case of the latter examples, by coming to Taiwan and being contactable.

Another thing: Most people don’t hustle on a street corner for money. Strangely enough, the only people who do this, who make cold calls and ask people for money, are beggars – who are seen as being on the lowest rung of the economic hierarchy. I wanted to say that street vendors hustle too, but they also set themselves up for opportunity: people walking past them who happen to want, or need what they are selling – “I’m hungry, and here’s a guy selling hot dogs”.

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That’s it for old Fat Guy

THURSDAY, 11 NOVEMBER 2021

We took old Fat Guy to the vet for the last time yesterday afternoon, Wednesday, 10 November 2021.

He vomited badly in August. We thought it was the end. He’s fifteen years old this year, so we had been thinking for quite a while he may not be with us for another year.

However, he recovered quickly, jumped on the furniture again, ate his usual amount of food, and so on.

Sunday, 3 October, he had a similar bout of throwing up. This time it was worse. We didn’t think he was going to see the end of the day. The next morning, I saw a dead pigeon on the sidewalk. “Death is in the air,” I thought.

We took him to the vet in the afternoon, and after a cursory physical examination and a blood test, the vet declared that he had kidney disease, and that he only had a twenty percent chance of recovering. We left him at the clinic for three days to get some fluids. There was no certainty that he would come home again.

Three days later we brought him back. He was uncertain on his feet, and after a few rounds through the apartment decided on the floor to the left of the bed in the master bedroom as his last domain.

That’s where he stayed for the next five weeks.

We took him back to the vet every two days for fluids and the occasional vitamin injection.

Some days he ate well and drank enough water; some days he just stared ahead and slept. The first week of November, I told the vet’s assistant that he was stable, walking around a bit, and that I had seen him eat and drink a few times. He didn’t always make it to the cat litter, and he leaked a bit, so his sleeping area had to be cleaned regularly.

Sunday, 7 November 2021 was the first time we saw blood in his faeces. And not a little. It was bad.

By Tuesday, he was no longer eating. It also got cooler again, and luckily, he didn’t get up to lie down on the cold tiles when we put him on a cloth towel for comfort with some paper towels for hygiene.

We took him to the vet again, and again touched on the subject of euthanasia.

We decided on either Wednesday or Friday. An article on the Internet quoted a veterinarian as saying that giving an animal its final injection is one of the easiest aspects of his job, as he brings relief to a terminally ill animal. He also said it was one of the last expressions of compassion the owner could give to a beloved pet.

By Tuesday night, I suggested that we don’t postpone any longer. Natasja let the vet know early the next morning.

I’m a bit of a weakling with these matters. When we decided the hour had come, I picked him up from the floor and put him in his cat carrier for the last time. He just murmured a little.

At the vet we took him out and placed him on the table. I caressed his head a few more times … and then decided to step away.

The vet gave him an anaesthetic, and about three seconds later his head dipped. Then, with a larger syringe with yellow-orange fluid in his hand, the vet asked us if we were sure we wanted to continue. We nodded. Then he injected him. I walked away to the sink.

We stood around for a few minutes. The staff spoke. Natasja spoke. The vet spoke. I asked how long it would take before it was over. Natasja asked more specifically how long it would take for his heart to stop. The woman we spoke to the most said that it was over. His heart had already stopped.

We draped one of his favourite blankets over him. The staff placed his body in a new cardboard box and explained the cremation process.

We paid the necessary fees and thanked everyone for their help.

And drove home with the empty cat carrier.

A pet is one of those things that makes life worth living – specifically the sadness, and the loneliness, and the worries that are sometimes part of one’s everyday existence.

Well, that’s it then.

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One/zero, and why one is better

SUNDAY, 12 OCTOBER 2003

Sometimes someone makes a choice, and it can only be described as the worse of, let’s say two options. With regard to this person’s decision, I also have a choice: to try and understand why the person made a particular choice, or not to try and understand.

If I manage to understand why someone made the worst of two choices and explain it to a third party, the latter may be tempted to say, “But that’s not an excuse,” and that I am defending that person.

My answer is that just because I understand why someone made a bad choice doesn’t suddenly make the choice less bad. A bad choice is a bad choice, whether you understand what motivated the person or not. But I also believe that the choice to not want to understand why someone made a bad choice is also the worst of two options.

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To ignore what is obvious

SATURDAY, 27 SEPTEMBER 2003

Outside my former hiding place, as I was hanging the last couple of plastic bags filled with dirty laundry on my bike, I heard a young kid from across the alley shout something. Too busy to respond, I got on the bike and shakily rode away.

At the traffic lights I thought the kid probably insulted me, because the sounds he uttered were very similar (except for one word) to the words in the Taiwanese dialect for “fat, lazy woman”. For a moment I regretted that I didn’t have anything appropriately offensive to bark back. By the time I got to the next traffic light, I had dropped my regrets in favour of the idea that I ignored him, which I regard as a greater insult.

“Why so?” I wondered.

By ignoring someone, you deprive that person of your recognition of his or her existence. And who is so sure of him- or herself that they’re not just a little uncomfortable when they are among people who do not acknowledge their existence?

You could argue that people must see that you fill a particular space in their immediate surroundings, or that they have to know you exist, even if they don’t react to your presence.

The thought that someone should know, in theory, that you exist is not good enough. Who doesn’t get annoyed, at times angry and sometimes violent when your presence, and therefore your existence is not recognised?

We all need regular confirmation from other people (even from animals such as a dog or a cat) that we exist. It could be nothing more than a smile, the nod of a head, or an “Excuse me” when someone accidentally bumps into you, albeit without making eye contact.

Intimate contact – and even better, regular intimate contact – is the ideal suppressor of the latent anxiety (or uncertainty?) about our existence. Would this be the underlying motivation behind the desire (or instinct) to pamper a baby – to give the little person who had only recently become a separate physical entity assurance of his or her existence?

Being a Westerner in some Asian countries naturally give you more visible recognition of your existence as would be the case in your own country. One example is the insolent lout who insults you in a language that he thinks you don’t understand, just because he was an eyewitness to your effort, as a highly visible outsider, to balance your bicycle with half a dozen plastic bags hanging from the handlebars. Another example is the girl who hides behind her mother in the supermarket while she points her finger at you as if you’re a distant cousin of the Elephant Man. Also people who, long after you had passed them, shout “Hello!” at you like you’re famous. All these incidents confirm your existence at that particular moment and at that specific location, and in ways that are not necessarily the good (or bad) luck of the ordinary Taiwanese (in my case) with whom you share your street or supermarket aisle.

Would this perhaps explain the desire of some people to be famous or infamous – the desire for as many people as possible to nod their heads in recognition of your existence?

Another question: Why do strangers greet each other?

One reason is mutual recognition of their existence.

Why therefore, would someone not greet you?

One possible reason is that the person does not need your recognition of his or her existence at that particular moment, or in some cases may not consider it desirable.

Reasons why someone might not need your recognition? Other people in the immediate vicinity that already acknowledge their existence, like friends, or a child who is being held by the hand?

That they fail to greet you doesn’t necessarily have to be seen as offensive; it’s just that they already have what you would have given them, namely visible acknowledgment of their existence.

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Mistakes, insights, questions, new vocabulary, and advice

SUNDAY, 3 AUGUST 2003

Two mistakes I made in 1998 [during my experimental return to South Africa]:

1. My preparations were insufficient.

2. I buckled in a moment of uncertainty thinking it would give me a little security and … accepted an offer for a job.

And an insight:

The reason why many ordinary working people in the industrialised “First World” is not rich is because they have “good jobs”, and they are satisfied with what they earn. Also, because their lifestyle grows as their income grows, or in many cases even exceeds their income.

What do you do …

* if you are two months behind on your mortgage payments,

* if the water and electricity bills are more than a month in arrears,

* if the kitchen shelves are empty,

* if your bank account is depleted,

* if your car has been repossessed, or will be repossessed by the bank any time in the next week or two,

* if half of your furniture has been repossessed, and

* if the children are getting quieter by the day?

What, at the end of the day, are really your options?

Today I learned some new words:

* atrium – the central court of an ancient Roman house

* niche – a suitable and satisfying role, job, or way of life; an opportunity in business; the conditions in which a species can live successfully

* ethereal – extremely delicate and light, and seeming to be too spiritual or perfect for this world

* translucent – allowing light to pass through but not transparent

and finally …

* colander – a metal or plastic bowl with many small holes in it, used to drain water from vegetables

And one last piece of advice:

Surround yourself with people. It’s much easier to break away from people for a few hours or a few days if you need to spend time on your own, than to try to get people together when you suddenly experience a need for companionship after long periods of isolation.

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