The incessant reappearance of old material … and of course about appearance


I can say I am overdoing it at the moment; that I have to stop with this incessant revision of old material. But what it is about is the synchronisation of internal and external appearances. If I appear to myself … if I exist in my apartment, I am a writer – but more than that, I am a writer down of fantastic insights I believe I do not so much think as receive.

The moment I enter the world outside my apartment, and especially if I make social appearances, I am just a 33-year-old man of South African origin, Afrikaans in terms of language and culture, who has been living in Taiwan for the past six years, making money – like hundreds of other Westerners in this city – as an English teacher, and who is most of the time not seen with an intimate partner. That’s it.

It’s no longer good enough. External appearances must necessarily be reviewed.


Another thing: self-observation, self-definition, appearance … self-observation, self-definition, appearance … It is an ongoing process. Patterns are established that are repeated; adjustments are made; inaccurate information and appearances that are not in line with your view of yourself are corrected; new aspects of identity, or aspects that are more appropriate for the environment in which you find yourself are defined; more appearances are made; you again observe your “self”; again you consider things, you redefine, you re-appear …