Assorted Notes

TUESDAY, 22 OCTOBER 2013

Just before I moved into one of only two open parking spaces (think of a space wide enough for bicycles, scooters and motorcycles) at the supermarket this evening, a woman and her son manoeuvred into the adjacent bay. But she parked at such an angle that half the bay where I was planning to leave my bike ended up being occupied by the front of her scooter. Walking away, she looked over her shoulder. She must have noticed how she had parked. She must have noticed that I had to enter the space where the front of her scooter protruded. Nevertheless, she turned away, and disappeared through the sliding doors of the supermarket.

My view of her is simple: She’s a savage.

What else? She probably expects consideration from other people in a parking lot, yet she showed none. Also, if everybody did what she did, there would be chaos and conflict. Not only is she not a reasonable person, she also doesn’t behave rationally.

I tried to give her a dirty look at the vegetable section, but she looked away.

What else could she do? (Or am I overthinking it?)

In other news, I had a narrow escape shortly before the skirmish with the barbarian woman. I was pedalling through the tunnel under the railway line near our apartment. In front of me was another cyclist. I usually stay on the right side of the narrow underpass so people on scooters can pass me, but in this case I could see I was going to have to pass the other cyclist. Just as I was squeezing past him, I heard a bang. When I looked back, I saw that the guy had hit something that ruptured his rear tyre.

If he were not there, it would have been me going over that sharp object. Which means I wouldn’t have made it to the supermarket, and therefore I wouldn’t have encountered the savage woman. That, in turn, means I wouldn’t have had reason to produce this short piece of text, and you would be reading something else right now.

Funny how things work out.

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TUESDAY, 1 OCTOBER 2013

As I pedal over the train tracks, I glance over the dark industrial plain in the direction of Fengshan train station. As per my habit, I think something in the line of, “I’m still here – in Taiwan.”

Then it hit me: That’s nonsense – literally not true.

The person who arrived here in January 1999 no longer exists. He didn’t leave or die … he was reincarnated into another person. And that person reincarnated into another person, and so on. All of these people, as biological continuations of the person, “Barend Smit” (better known as “Brand Smit”), and “heirs” to the name, were legally and morally responsible for any misconduct or agreements entered into by earlier incarnations of “Barend Smit”. Later incarnations also continued to get praise for good things that “he” did, and are still intimately connected to certain people – who are also more recent incarnations of earlier versions, and all on their own personal journeys.

I reckon I have had five lives in Taiwan: Brand who arrived here in January 1999 – single, smoker, dreamer, little angry with the world … who reincarnated, or was transformed into Brand of 2001 – creative, ambitious, slightly manic … who was reincarnated or transformed into Brand of 2005 – serious romantic relationship … which, in turn, reincarnated or was transformed into Brand of 2006 – desperate to provide a better life for himself and the special woman in his life, obsessed about making money from home … who eventually reincarnated or was transformed into the most recent incarnation, Brand of 2011 – married, non-smoker, once again dedicated to creative projects, still serious about financial prosperity but also careful not to waste his time and money.

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SATURDAY, 24 AUGUST 2013

This morning I thought of how an acquaintance of mine responded to something I had posted on Facebook a year ago. His response can be more or less summarised as, “Who does this guy think he is?”

For a minute or so I reflected on who and what I was in high school: that I did not make much of an impression on people; that my peers probably didn’t expect me of all people to have one or two interesting thoughts that I would write down and feel the need to share with other people.

As one’s brain crackles and groans to turn one thought into another, I wondered about this thing that some people become personal if they don’t like your argument. I always want to say: Don’t look at me; look at the argument. My person doesn’t matter here. The argument must stand or fall on its own value.

I realised that the response of my acquaintance probably wasn’t just about me. Some people simply believe that advice and insights and opinions about matters existential must emanate from the mouths of authority figures. If these people cherish a religious identity, it is to be expected that the figures whose word matters will have religious authority.

What this acquaintance probably meant was: “What authority do you have to say what you are saying? Are you God? Are you Jesus? Are you a writer of a Bible book?”

My response to such a position: Does my argument not make sense? Or: I think my opinion deserves to at least be considered because it is relatively well-laid out, and it makes more or less sense.

But I would imagine the man quivering his hand in a gesture that says: “Silence! Logical arguments are cheap! Every second man or woman on the street can come up with a logical argument! I am talking about authority!”

Then I thought, if something was wrong with my stomach or with my head, or if I got a rash somewhere on my skin, I would want to see a medical professional. I may ask my mother’s advice, or my wife’s or a colleague’s, but it is the person with authority whose opinion will really bear weight.

Is it not the same with matters about what one should do with your life? Does it not make sense that this acquaintance of mine would shake his head, shrug, and ask, “Who are you?”

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The difference is science versus opinion; more specifically, if science provides me with an answer to a question or a problem, I will give more weight to that than to someone’s opinion. For example, if I had a virus, my blood can be tested a hundred times, and the tests would give almost exactly the same result every time. On the other hand, when it comes to the question of what to do with my life, science, as far as I know, cannot help me that much. If I turn to someone with religious authority and ask him what to do with my life, what will he do? He will consult writings written more than a thousand years ago in the case of Islam, and almost two thousand years ago or more than two thousand years ago in the cases of Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism and Buddhism. The writers of these texts certainly had authority in the communities to which they belonged two thousand years ago, but is it reasonable to accept their opinion in today’s world without thinking critically about it or considering one or two alternatives?

To go back to my example: If something is wrong with my stomach or if I get a rash somewhere, will I consult a medical tractate that dates from Julius Caesar’s time, or even further back to the time of Plato or Socrates? Suppose I discover exactly such a piece of literature somewhere in a dusty corner of my bookshelves, I may browse through it if I am desperate or curious enough. There is certainly a chance that there may be a few bits of useful advice. But before I apply coagulated ostrich blood to my eyes, or smear the fresh intestines of a baby crocodile on my sore knee, I would definitely get a second opinion.

So I am not saying the person who is referring to religious writings when looking for an answer to the question of what to do with their lives is primitive. After all, the authors of these texts were respected in their day as authoritative figures. I simply ask: Why not consider a second opinion, especially if the opinion is reasonable and perhaps relatively logical?

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THURSDAY, 22 AUGUST 2013

A project makes it to my list first and foremost because I think I can do something. Even commercial projects are not just on my list because I think I can make money with them. And if something registers in my mind that I can do it, I need to do it. I need to manifest that I can do it.

To have ten projects on my list that I want to work on is not a problem. They’re all in the pipeline. I will eventually get to all of them. But to choose one out of ten means depriving myself of the opportunity to show that I can do the other projects. And this paralyses me at times. I sometimes find it almost impossible to take action until I’ve solved this impasse.

Will all the other projects not still be in the pipeline after I have chosen one? Will they not still be on the list of projects that I will work on later?

Apparently that is not how my brain works.

I am obviously doing something wrong. The way I think is wrong.

A similar thing happens when someone asks something, and I know the answer. A shot of adrenaline immediately shoots through my veins. I must, without delay, manifest that I know!

Still, I’m not in the habit of physically attacking people if they dare share facts that I also know. And it happens often enough that I do focus on one project without excessive mental disturbance for weeks at a time.

What is to be done about this malady that I sometimes suffer from?

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WEDNESDAY, 21 AUGUST 2013

If you want to make it in this world – if you want to achieve important goals you have set for yourself, either financial prosperity, or looking back on your life at 45 or 55 or 65 and thinking you have done all right – you would have to spend the best hours of your day utilising your best skills, working on projects or tasks where your experience and/or natural talents are most prominent.

If you ignore what you do better than anything else for the sake of short-term considerations, the possibility of achieving some success is not entirely excluded, but the probability decreases by the day.

It is a simple strategy: Hit the hardest with what you do best. Or like the poet, W.H. Auden said: “You owe it to us all to get on with what you’re good at.”

THURSDAY, 22 AUGUST 2013

Maybe you don’t like the idea of competition. Perhaps you believe your only race is with yourself. Maybe you think life is not just science and math.

Whatever your feelings about this matter, if you want to make it in this world, you better be ready to compete. For every dollar you want to make, there is another man or woman who has set their eyes on the same dollar. For every product you hope to sell, or for any service you want to offer, there is at least one other man or woman who is working on a similar product or offering a similar service. If you think you know something, just know, someone else probably possesses the exact same knowledge.

What can you do? Is there hope for the average non-genius man or woman who doesn’t have access to inexhaustible resources to make up for their shortcomings?

The hope is this: Focus on your talents, every day. If it is to bake cookies and exchange one fresh dozen after another for cold, hard cash, then do that. If it is playing guitar or composing songs, then you do that. If it is bringing people together and teaching them something they did not know, do that. If it is taking care of people in need, do that. If it is to write poems or essays or stories … then you know what to do. Hit as hard as you can with your number one skill.

What happens if you struggle to make money with your number one skill, or if you are convinced that there is no market for it? Do you sigh, “That’s just how life is,” before you start searching the classified ads for the first and best opportunity to sell your time?

The sentiments I express in this note are not motivated by my belief that a creative life is better than a life where you simply survive from one salary to another. They are motivated by a conviction that your best chance of survival – survival! – is to focus on your best abilities.

Still, if you reckon the best thing you can offer the world has no commercial value, ask yourself: Is there any way you can solve a problem for someone else with your skills or talents? Is there any way you can help someone get to a good place where they want to be? Is there any way you can help someone get away from a place they want to move away from? Even if you don’t make money by solving problems for other people, helping them might improve your life in other ways, including opening opportunities you may never have thought of.

The hard reality is that most of us have to pay for our own bread and butter, and maybe for some other people’s bread and butter too. Sometimes it means engaging in activities where we do not employ our best talents or skills, but it is important not to waste your time. Once you have done what you need to do to put food on the table, get back to the things you do better than most other people. Your survival, and your success in life depend on it.

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