Manifestation of knowledge and ability


A project makes it to my list first and foremost because I think I can do something. Even commercial projects are not just on my list because I think I can make money with them. And if something registers in my mind that I can do it, I need to do it. I need to manifest that I can do it.

To have ten projects on my list that I want to work on is not a problem. They’re all in the pipeline. I will eventually get to all of them. But to choose one out of ten means depriving myself of the opportunity to show that I can do the other projects. And this paralyses me at times. I sometimes find it almost impossible to take action until I’ve solved this impasse.

Will all the other projects not still be in the pipeline after I have chosen one? Will they not still be on the list of projects that I will work on later?

Apparently that is not how my brain works.

I am obviously doing something wrong. The way I think is wrong.

A similar thing happens when someone asks something, and I know the answer. A shot of adrenaline immediately shoots through my veins. I must, without delay, manifest that I know!

Still, I’m not in the habit of physically attacking people if they dare share facts that I also know. And it happens often enough that I do focus on one project without excessive mental disturbance for weeks at a time.

What is to be done about this malady that I sometimes suffer from?