A futuristic denial

THURSDAY, 18 SEPTEMBER 2003

I am no longer in Taiwan. The fact that Neighbourhood-on-the-Edge-of-Town in Bronkhorstspruit (which I now call home) resembles Benevolent Light New Village to a speck of dust is a bizarre coincidence. I did not speak Chinese with the woman who sells tea on the street corner fifteen minutes ago. The newspaper I have just cast aside is not the China Post. I did not eat rice and vegetables with chopsticks last night, and I certainly did not teach English rhymes to Taiwanese children this morning!

To tell the truth, anyone who thinks that I am a 32-year-old man who has been stuck in Taiwan for the last five years – seven years altogether in the Far East – is a blatant liar who should immediately have his head examined! Such a person has an overactive imagination and easily believes sentimental stories and outrageous theories about the meaning of life to disguise boredom with his own life.

No, I am certainly not this cunning character who roams dark streets after midnight on a creaking bicycle in a desperate search for tofu kebabs and fried octopus.

What I am is … a lawyer. Or an accountant. I live in a nice house on the edge of a large town in Gauteng. I’ve been married for seven years, and we have two beautiful children. We also have a car, two cats, a dog, a lawn mower, a swimming pool, and a trailer. I play golf on Saturday afternoons, and every now and then I win a bottle of sparkling wine. I believe in Society and Civilisation, in Order and Security. I have three life insurance policies, and a few good investments. I also have several credit cards, and I dutifully pay my bills every month. My friends think I’m a little conservative; I always say I just believe what I believe.

I, like everyone else, know, or know of people who live abroad for years, “searching” for themselves, or whatever people search for in foreign countries. Personally, I think they’re wasting their time; that there is nothing abroad that one cannot experience in our beautiful country, or that you cannot search for if you insist on searching for something. I also believe that many of these people don’t have the guts to stare reality in their own country in the face. And I’m not talking about crime and violence in South Africa. I’m talking about growing up and getting on with your life when you’ve reached the age when you’re no longer a child.

I have also been to London, and to the Maldives once for a holiday. I’m no idiot when it comes to what goes on beyond our borders. I watch the news every evening, and read the newspaper at least a few times a week. I am also not nearly as conservative as my wife and my friends mock me for. I believe that everyone has the right to choose the lives they deem fit … and then to pursue that life. I also believe that everyone has a right to their own opinions, and that everyone has the right to say whatever they want, as long as it doesn’t give unnecessary offence.

It is true though that I have a dislike in people who live in foreign countries and then voice criticism of choices that I have made; choices they call “bourgeois” with arrogant contempt. These people don’t have the faintest idea what my life is about. They don’t have a clue what is important to me, or what the motivations behind my choices and actions are.

I wish they would come home. Then we’ll see who the real winners are and who will lose in the end. Yes, then we will indeed see who scoffs at who!

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