Woes chasing me – ominously dark approach


“How on earth can we know the whole truth if we do not have all the information? How on earth can we make absolute statements? We sometimes accept things in faith, but how can we expect others to accept the same articles of faith?” (From a discussion about the moon)

FRIDAY, 16 JUNE 2006

Seven years ago, I talked about two woes that have been chasing me ever since I can remember. I am not alone anymore, yet loneliness is something that is always with you; even those with whom you are involved intimately do not always share your fears and your concerns. Poverty, or rather, to be broke, is however an affliction that I will struggle with until one of us collapses from exhaustion.


Like a paranoid dictator in a politically unstable country, or like kings in the Middle Ages that constantly had to keep an eye on other members of the aristocracy, so it is with me: if I do not focus my energies on something for most of my waking hours, my energy turns on the source – me.


Recent revelations have brought the thought that my Internet projects are reminiscent of some other projects from my personal past. I start off with ten times more enthusiasm than common sense, with no proper preparation, planning or idea of exactly what it is I want to do. I do a lot of work, then I pause, then I look at what I have done and where I am going, and then I move forward after careful consideration. I also have to admit that I am unwilling to spend the critical first three months or so after getting an idea for a project on preparation and planning.

The silver lining around this ominously dark cloud: I am busy dealing with it.