Why I do what I do – as long as I remain standing

THURSDAY, 4 SEPTEMBER 2008

11:17

Why I do what I do: a conversation with myself on the way to the 7-Eleven late last night

Reason one: Distrust, since the age of 14, in an adult life of get a job, get married, get a loan to buy a house, get a loan to buy a car, have children, then the economy turns bad or some other fuck-up that makes you lose your job, you get desperate, you borrow more money, you move to another city, you trade in the car for an old wreck, you explain your situation to friends and relatives and strangers, you get even more desperate until you get to the point where you are willing to call anyone “boss” or do anything for a paycheck.

Reason two: Even when I was supposed to get ready for a career, interests like history and religion weighed heavier than subjects like personnel management or marketing.

Reason three: Like millions of other people I, too, have been given a gift, and I’ll be damned if I do not apply my life to something better than a mediocre existence.

MONDAY, 22 SEPTEMBER 2008

18:29

We often hear ourselves and other people say things like, “My life should be better,” “X should actually be Y,” “A should be B.” You also regularly remind yourself that life hardly ever works out the way we want. You do your best, and you try to be happy with what you have. Yet you keep striving for a better life, to make things better.

Most of us know that life is a struggle – for a higher level of existence. Sometimes you succeed, and your life is better from that day on. Sometimes you struggle for what feels like an eternity, and you barely remain standing. But – and I know I have used this image more than a few times, but here it is again – if you are not down for the count, you’re still standing. And as long as you remain standing, you struggle on.

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