Wednesday, 3 June 1998
I find myself on a street corner, wearing a strange coat and a hat, staring at cars commuting people to their jobs.
But let’s get to the point. These are my options:
1. Become an entrepreneur
2. Find another job abroad
3. Find a job locally
As for the first option, this was the plan with which I arrived here on 6 May. In the meantime, I have discovered that it will take time and money before I can start making money with a project. I believe that it would be a risk to focus exclusively on this option under the current circumstances.
Regarding option two, what are the benefits of going abroad again? Money to pay off student loans and money that I can save to return to South Africa after between six and eighteen months to invest in projects. There is also the benefit of travel experiences. What are the disadvantages? At this stage, I’m ready to commit myself to things – and that’s one hell of an acknowledgement, considering my erstwhile loathing of the idea. I have a strong need to belong somewhere, to be involved in organisations and with people, and to commit myself to relationships, and to plans, and ideas. The things I want to connect myself to are here – in South Africa. If I go abroad again, I’d have to postpone the fulfilment of these needs, throw a few tapes and some books and other loose items in my backpack, and again temporarily establish myself elsewhere. This runs contrary to everything I’ve thought and decided these last few months. Furthermore, there’s no guarantee that I can make more money overseas than I can make in the medium and long term in my own country. Lastly, what exactly do I want to do abroad? I’m not exactly thrilled with the idea of teaching English again in the Far East, and I’m definitely not keen on losing my temper for a bunch of ill-mannered children in England.
Now, option three. What would I benefit from getting a job in South Africa? My interests are wide, so I don’t have to restrict myself to a specific line of work, or a particular type of job. Anything that falls within my fields of interest will be okay as long as it gives me a basic income. In any case, I’m keeping my eyes open and my ears on the ground for other projects and ideas to supplement such a basic income.
Wednesday, 10 June 1998
Here is the conclusion to the above discussion: Johannesburg currently offers me all the opportunities I want to explore, and it most closely matches what I decided in Korea between February and April. Other options, such as teaching English in Asia or going to England offer benefits that Johannesburg doesn’t necessarily provide. But all in all, Johannesburg currently embodies most of what I want to do with my life, and what I am interested in.