FRIDAY, 1 OCTOBER 2004
Last night I bought toothpicks, new razor blades, dental floss and some cotton buds. This morning I had breakfast, and then later at the morning market bought carrots, apples, something for lunch, and two 500 millilitre cups of green tea. Then I went to fetch fresh water, filled my two bottles when I got home, and put them in the fridge.
What does all of this mean? What value does it have on the Greater Landscape of My Life? All these things – the dental floss, the carrots, the water, and all the other things – are measures that are conducive to survival. All of this suggests that I have again so far today, on this Friday, October 1st 2004, not yet decided to “let things go”.
SUNDAY, 10 OCTOBER 2004
The primary objective of the organism that is the human being is to return to a state of complete relaxation. At some point in a person’s life, he begins to associate this condition with death – either on a conscious or unconscious level.
The problem is that people also fear disappearing into nothingness. Why? Probably because we associate nothingness with futility and worthlessness. The thought of nothingness may even spring from uncertainty about the purpose and the value of one’s life.
So, since I am sitting here thinking about these things, I ask myself: Do I fear disappearing into the nothingness?
I am tempted to say no and let the matter rest. But somewhere in my head a thought kicks in. “Are you crazy?!” I hear a voice yell. “Of course we fear the nothingness!”