Grey skies and boredom

Saturday, 7 September 1996

Working things out on my own enables me to deal more effectively with a confusing world. It helps if my pegs are well anchored to the winds that sometimes tear into one’s tent flaps.

Wednesday, 9 October 1996

I realised today there’s almost always a grey cloud hanging over me. An awareness of being happy is almost always one step ahead of me – but I also tend to stay one step ahead of a definite awareness of being miserable. Maybe a good balance?

The smallest things sometimes make me … happy – like being told just before my evening class that the class has been cancelled.

I am currently struggling to get through my classes. And it’s not because it’s hard work. It’s just so damn boring!

I just want to get through the boring hours at work so I can go home – even if I’m just sitting here doing nothing, at least I won’t be stuck in a classroom with a bunch of kids. I can smoke when I want to, make coffee, listen to music …

I have to do things that motivate me, and that stimulate my interest. I need to do something to make Korea worth staying for a year.

The fact is, the longer, the better.

The question remains: What happens after Korea?