TUESDAY, 14 SEPTEMBER 2004
At some stage of my life I came to believe that my only right to an existence would be if I could prove or demonstrate that I am not “the same as everyone else”. Perhaps it is time to confront the reality of my life – as created from the clay that was laid before me – and to declare that I have proven or demonstrated enough.
I say this because it seems to me that to claim my right to happiness I should after all be like other people and take similar measures – like playing the Game of Social Contact with the Exclusive Purpose of Being with Someone to Whom You Are Sexually Attracted.
(“Right to happiness?” you may ask. Yes. If I don’t have such a right, no one has such a right. It is either universal or not applicable at all.)
WEDNESDAY, 15 SEPTEMBER 2004
“Be dedicated to your own agenda.”
The question: What exactly is your agenda?
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The question is not what location is perfect for residential purposes; the question is what kind of place is conducive to your ambitions and your aspirations, and your goals. In short, what place is conducive to the realization and fulfilment of your own personal agenda?
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It seems that I am expanding my focus. Initially, my focus was just on my own identity. Eventually I asked: What is identity? And if it meets a specific need, what and who am I (or will I be) if that specific need is removed?
Same with the agenda issue. First it was my own agenda. Now I say: Everyone has an agenda, so what’s yours? And can you express it?
The issue of place or physical location is another example. For years (and hundreds of pages), I asked: Where is my place in the world? I even attempted to establish criteria that might apply to other people. Now I say, place/location and agenda, and necessarily also identity, everything is connected, and the keyword is conducive. What place, and what other factors are conducive to the expression of your self-defined identity, and for the realization and fulfilment of your personal agenda?
(Earlier on I made myself guilty of espousing the misconception that the end goal is to find yourself, while in actual fact that is merely the beginning.)