Silence. And voices.

WEDNESDAY, 10 NOVEMBER 2004

22:59

I have learned that not appearing means silence. And that silence, if you can handle it, is good.

23:57

When I was younger, it felt like I was doing something wrong when I spent “too much” time on my own. Which is not surprising because from an early age it is discouraged; “You should get out more,” “Spend some time with other people,” “It’s not good to be so alone all the time!” people will often utter their well-meaning opinions.

It may take years before you develop some alternative views on this matter, for example that social appearances – which incidentally require much more personal information than anonymous appearances, and even appearances in professional capacity – mean a lot of “noise”. And this noise silences voices that many people fear – and perhaps in some cases need to fear.

These “voices”, if you pay attention and if you think long enough about what you “hear”, ultimately reveal insights that are only destined for those willing to listen, and for those who are willing to keep the airways clean to encourage the process.

[Many people in the history of the world have been known to have heard “voices”, and they responded by taking actions that have affected, and still affect, the lives of thousands and even millions of people.

There are also many people who will never make any tangible impact on their environments who also hear voices every day. The fact that many of them are locked up in institutions confirms how these characters are viewed by society – whether it is justified or not.

What “voices” do I hear? Although the term is a useful one, I should mention that I don’t really hear voices (most of the time I don’t, anyways). The times I refer to when I supposedly “hear” something are usually times when my own voice fills the airways while I am in deep conversation with myself. That my self-talk is uninhibited – I’m not trying to impress anyone in a social appearance, for example – means I can throw the proverbial table full of cards. These “cards” may be answers to questions, or solutions to the problems I regularly harass myself with regardless of whether I am on my own, making an anonymous appearance, or appearing to the community as “Brand Smit”. Once these cards are on the table, the validity of each one can be considered on merit. No answer, no solution is ever accepted blindly because some or other voice had dictated anything to me.]

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