Lord of Misery – identity – circle of life

SUNDAY, 2 OCTOBER 2005

19:18

A question that is sometimes asked out loud, and sometimes only contemplated in silence: “How should I live?”

MONDAY, 3 OCTOBER 2005

00:42

Sometimes it feels like I regularly bring a new case to the court of the Lord of Misery, in an attempt to convince him to show me mercy and to grant me my freedom as one of his serfs.

Take note, I do not offer anything. I just make my case every time, thinking that I will be able to convince the lord to permit me to let my sense of misery go, that I can be happy now because …

The Lord of Misery would only say: “This is the new status quo.”

I would ask what that means. No reply would come.

I will get busy with other things until I again make the same case, to which the Lord of Misery will respond: “What are you talking about? This has been your status for months! If you want mercy, bring me a new case!”

And that will be it.

This almost tempts me to say: to hell with the Lord of Misery. Who appointed him master of my life anyway?

WEDNESDAY, 5 OCTOBER 2005

16:45

I exist. I exist as a son, a brother, a friend, a lover, a poet, a writer, a teacher, and as a Westerner in a country in North East Asia.

I did not always exist in all these capacities. In what other capacities am I yet to exist?

SATURDAY, 8 OCTOBER 2005

19:08

If you are just surviving, you do not necessarily need identity. Survival often requires only animal instinct. If you want to apply yourself to survival-plus, specific identity will prove to be extremely useful.

19:10

Every moment in a person’s life is a full circle of life data. The circle is constantly buzzing, but it is always full. Circle 081005@19:11:38 is not the same as Circle 081005@19:11:39. Similarities range from 99.99% to far less.

A person’s life is a constant flow of circles – or rather, a constant buzzing as one circle transforms into the next one.

Person X is the axis around which Person X’s circles revolve.

Differences in content of the circles become clearer the more time passes between circles. It is however important to remember that each circle is 100% full.

The more the data and the more diverse the content, the richer the life.

Risk also increases as data increases. More information can also improve chances of survival.

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